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Post by JAMES POTTER on Oct 8, 2011 21:13:27 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v1ndpe.jpg); border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; border: 1px dashed #6E7B8B;] pads , Binns is just staring at me with those creepy eyes. I think he's angry that most people are sat in silence and I'm here crying with laughter. Is it normal to laugh at notes? I feel like an idiot and people are looking at me as if I'm crazy.
I do want to teach cats to dance. Pulling pranks just seems boring now. We've done everything there is to do, and the reactions are always the same. I only get pleasure from torturing Snivellus because I hate him with such a burning passion. I am getting boring, I'm sorry. But at least I'm passing it on to you. You can get Peter to do stuff with you. I'm sure that he'll be up to it. Replace me with him.
You're not respectable, that was a little joke of mine. See, I'm still the sarcastic prick I always used to be. Since you're spending the money on a good cause, I will let you keep it. And because you've just admitted your attraction to me. I always knew the reason you don't seem to like Lily is because you're jealous that I love her and not you.
I often wonder why I ever put up with Remus. Bringing my homework while I'm ill... as if I didn't have enough to want to die about! You may hate leashes, but I know you like it when I put you on one. ;) If you were my pet, I would be the master, and masters can do as they please. So I will sexually abuse you. I apologize in advance.
I'm glad that you find it normal. But is it legal to marry your pets? I hope so.
-prongs |
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Post by SIRIUS ORION BLACK on Oct 9, 2011 3:05:20 GMT
prongs, Perhaps he thinks you find the goblin wars funny? I mean, they do have extremely creative names. I couldn't really tell you. However, I'm surprised he noticed your laughter. That's twice today (new record?). People are looking at you like that because you are crazy and nothing you can do will ever change that. Luckily for you, I'm not completely sane either, so I have no excuse to leave you alone with your insanity.
Done everything there is to do? Hardly. We haven't blown up the Great Hall yet. And, we haven't thrown Filch off the Astronomy Tower. I don't think we've done anything with enormous food yet, either. I can agree with you on at least one thing and that is that torturing Snivellus is pleasurable. If there is one thing that makes me feel better after a particularly stressful day, it's hanging Snivelly upside down and tossing insults/jinxes at him. Blasphemy! You simply cannot be replaced. But, don't worry. I have a plan to fix whatever's gone wrong inside of your brain. You shall not live like this for too much longer.
Lies. You are losing your touch. See what becomes of boys who try to act like men? I intend to spend my last year at Hogwarts being as much of a child as possible because, after this, shit gets real and I don't know if I can deal with that just yet. Thank you for allowing me to keep my money. I'm extremely jealous of Evans, but, one day, I will get over it and teach your specky, ginger babies to make you both miserable.
It's because he's brilliant. I, too, have questioned his place in our group. But, really, he can't be faulted. He's a genius and we need his research to pull of most of the things we've pulled off. As for the sexual innuendos and the threats of abuse, I think I'm going to have to pass. No offense, mate, but I've had enough abuse to last me a lifetime. I'd much prefer good sex. If you're willing to provide that, I might consider marrying you.
I would tell you again that you are hopeless, but it wouldn't make any difference. You are too stubborn for your own good. -pads
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Post by JAMES POTTER on Oct 9, 2011 8:12:03 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v1ndpe.jpg); border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; border: 1px dashed #6E7B8B;] pads , I am completely sane! I've come to the conclusion that people are looking at me because I look extremely attractive when I laugh. But Lily just turned around and looked at me. She sort of glared, actually. And I smiled at her like a three-year-old. It's a good job she loves me now. As for that begin a record for Binns noticing things, I think you're correct. Should I write the exact time and date down somewhere so that we don't forget such a historical event?
Well, I never really intended on doing anything that caused death upon anyone. Other than Snivelly, of course. Additionally, nothing has gone wrong in my brain. In fact, it was wrong when I first came to Hogwarts, and now it'd been righted. I think that you're the one who needs fixing, my furry friend.
Our babies will be beautiful and perfect. They'll be like a combination of me and Lily, which would become like a super child. They'll grow up to look like Lily and they'll be as clever as Lily but they'll be as funny and magnificent as me. And they will love me, and hate you. You will not be their godfather, as I don't think that you can be a pet and a godfather. And I'm also starting to dislike you.
My sex is good! How could you even so much as suggest that it isn't. But it's fine, I think that Peter needs a sexual partner in life. But who gets him, me or you? ...I feel wrong suggesting this when he's not involved in the conversation.
-prongs |
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Post by SIRIUS ORION BLACK on Oct 9, 2011 22:29:24 GMT
prongs, Right...completely sane. WHATEVER YOU SAY, MY GOOD MAN. I suppose I'll have to just let that one go. There's really no arguing with you when you get like this. Hang on...you mean you didn't write down the exact date and time when Binns noticed the book go through his crotch (or the general area, anyway)? You're slacking, my friend. But, don't worry. I've already marked the date and time for you.
At risk of starting up the old argument and riling up at least two people, I'll remind you that I actually came pretty close to murdering Snivelly. Although, that in itself might be proof that my brain isn't quite right.
No, no... They're going to be little, ginger terrors. They'll inherit Lily's stubbornness and your...well, James-ness. Remember when your mum said she hoped you would have children just like you so you would know how she felt? It's going to happen. I can feel it. Also, I will most definitely be the godfather if for no other reason than the fact that you don't know anyone better suited for the job than me.
I wouldn't really know anything about the quality of your sex as I've never had the opportunity to find out. However, I can safely assume that your sex is not half as good as mine because I am fantastic in bed (ask anyone). I suppose we'll have to duel to decide on who gets Peter. Although, we should probably mention it to him first. -pads
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Post by JAMES POTTER on Oct 10, 2011 6:22:16 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v1ndpe.jpg); border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; border: 1px dashed #6E7B8B;] pads , Stop telling me that I'm slacking and that I'm boring. Because I'm not. I'm just not as much of an annoying prick as you anymore. Perhaps I'd been joking before, but now you're really irritating me.
And that, my friend, was a reason for which I, and everyone else, hated you for a good amount of time. Well, not the Snape dying part, that was fine. We should've let him die, in retrospect.
My mother loves me, and she loved having me as a child. I was perfect. So perfect that they felt no need to have another. I will have to make sure that my babies will be as popular as me in school. I don't know how we got onto this topic, but I don't intend on having children in the near future, so it's irrelevant. I might have a pet dog. You could marry that!
I will allow you to find out the quality of my sex tonight. Meet me in the broom cupboard in the Entrance Hall at 2am. Don't bring any clothes. Why would we duel? I'll win, of course. We may as well let me have Peter now. But yes, you're right, we are forgetting that his consent will probably be needed. He's sure to go along with it though! When does he ever not?
-prongs |
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Post by SIRIUS ORION BLACK on Oct 11, 2011 22:48:33 GMT
prongs, Alright, alright. I was only joking, anyway. Can't have you all irritated when Evans is looking on. I'll do my best not to be such a prick in your presence.
Right...that. Well, if it makes any difference, I probably hated myself more than all of you combined. Those were not a good couple of months for me. But, rest assured that I have learned my lesson. Also, you have no right to be looking back and wishing Snape was dead. You were the one who got on your white horse and rescued him, after all. I did try to stop you...
Well, your parents felt no need to have another child around until they met me. I think your mum likes me best, you know. I was just wondering why we were discussing your future children. Good that we're on the same page... We do that rather a lot, don't we? Great minds think alike, or so they say. On a side note, I will not marry your pet dog. The sex would be less than satisfactory, I'd imagine.
2am? I'll be there. Trust me, I wasn't planning on bringing any clothes. Be prepared to be blown away by my skill. Also, you would not win in a duel against me. I am far better at duelling than you are and you know it. So, really, you should give Peter up to me. But, we should really ask him first. Maybe you could pass this note along to him? -pads
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Post by JAMES POTTER on Oct 12, 2011 6:23:32 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v1ndpe.jpg); border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; border: 1px dashed #6E7B8B;] pads , I know you were joking, but there was some truth in it. You do think that I'm getting boring. Well I'm not.
It was in a moment of complete insanity that I saved him, rest assured. I suppose it was a good thing though, it'd save cleaning up a dead body afterwards. Snape really is an idiot though. Honestly, why would he go and do that just because you suggested it? Oh well, we've talked about this enough already anyway.
We're always on the same page, paddy. It's because we know each other far too well for our own good. Precisely why my suggestion of marriage is a good one. My mother would surely be happy if we got married! You were saying that you think she prefers you.
I will pass another note on to Peter in just a moment. Preferably one that doesn't spill out my feelings of love towards you. I don't think that he quite understands our intimate relationship, you know. Wouldn't want to scare him off. By the way, this note will state that I get to have him, not you.
-prongs |
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Post by SIRIUS ORION BLACK on Oct 14, 2011 1:16:04 GMT
prongs, A bit, but if it bothers you that much, I promise I'll try not to mention it. Are you going to wink at her or what? Evans is actually looking in your direction and she doesn't look like she's about to murder you. I reckon you should take that as an opportunity.
Well, you know how much I hate cleaning. Especially when dead bodies are involved. Especially when Snape's dead body is involved. I don't think I could stand to touch him. Not even if he was dead. Although, it would have served him right, the tosser. It was a joke. I told him to go bang his head on the Whomping Willow. What kind of idiot would actually take that as a serious answer?
You know, people say we spend too much time together. I don't understand that at all. You're about the only person on the planet I can tolerate for more than a few hours at a time (well, maybe Remus). Why wouldn't I spend all of my time with you? It's why our marriage is going to work out so well. And, of course, because your mother loves me.
Alright, first of all, Pete is mine. There is no question. He is mine. Second, passing along a different note is probably a good idea. Not too sure if Wormy quite understands our brand of humor. Sometimes, he seems a bit lost. And, of course, if we allowed this note to scare him off, how would we decide who gets to have him? -pads
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Post by JAMES POTTER on Oct 14, 2011 6:22:04 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v1ndpe.jpg); border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; border: 1px dashed #6E7B8B;] pads , Is she? I hadn't noticed, I was too busy gazing over at you and your beauty. I thought a wink would be a bit saucy for her, so I went for a smile and casual ruffle of the hair. She didn't seem too put off by it.
You know, I always wonder why he took you seriously too. It's because he's so set out to get us in trouble that he takes everything seriously because of his suspicions. My only question is: was he planning on actually banging his head on it upon arrival? I hope so, that'd be hilarious. But I totally agree with you, I wouldn't want to have to touch his greasy hair and probably just as greasy blood.
How could we spend too much time together?! We don't spend enough time together anymore. I have my stupid head boy duties and I've been seeing Lily more frequently. I miss having you following me around everywhere. I'll invest in a new servant. I wonder who would be best suited to the job...
I am the dominant male here - the leader of our pack. I would clearly get to keep him. It'd be much more practical and make more sense for me to keep him. I could train him so well. He is not, and never will be yours. I vowed to protect him for all eternity. I feel that he will need it.
-prongs |
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Post by SIRIUS ORION BLACK on Oct 14, 2011 16:57:02 GMT
prongs, I understand. My good looks are extremely distracting. Luckily for you, I've got your back. You really have got to get rid of that hair thing you do. I think it's gotten rather old. Time for a new random habit, yeah?
I'd love to watch Snivelly bang his head against the Whomping Willow. It's too bad it didn't kill him. It could have solved the whole problem for us. Moony would have been fine and Snape would have been gone and no one would have to worry about his greasy hair again. I would have to imagine his blood is equally greasy. I mean...it's Snape.
Well, that's what I said. I think you and I need to spend some quality time together. I only ever see you at Quidditch practice anymore. And, as much fun as it is to smack Bludgers at you lot (for practice, of course), it's hard to talk when we're flying in opposite directions. And, for the record, I do not follow you around.
Dominant male, my arse. I get Peter and that's final. I don't think you'd know what to do with him once you had him. Me, on the other hand, I could train him right. Besides, it's not like you wouldn't get to see him. I mean, you'd still be around...sometimes. You would be far too busy with Evans to have Peter too. Think of what she would say if she found out! -pads
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Post by JAMES POTTER on Oct 15, 2011 18:08:56 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v1ndpe.jpg); border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; border: 1px dashed #6E7B8B;] pads , You think the hair flick's getting old? I don't. Doubt I could kick the habit anyway, it gets in my face too easily, and I have to make sure that it's sufficiently messy at all times. I also think that the ladies find it enticing.
If you think about it on the upside, without Snape we'd have nobody to hex on a daily basis. I don't hate anyone as much as I hate him. I really would be boring then. And after having saved him, I have this strange feeling of satisfaction for being such a brave and noble young male.
Aw, Paddy misses me. I'm touched. I suppose I could fit you in on my tight schedule. Perhaps. Oh, we'll find time. I guess I miss you too, Pads. I miss Remus and Wormy too. I'll spend less time wandering around, lost in my thoughts and more time with you. This will, however, mean that I'm more confused and stressed than usual, so I think you'll have to cheer me up more. I think that the leash and collar will do the trick.
You know, I've forgotten why we're arguing over who gets Peter. But I'll continue anyway. I will fight for that boy forever! Having Lily around would be a bonus, as the two of us would raise him together, and you know she'd be the best mother. You, on the other hand, would be too busy having sex with everyone (possibly even Peter himself) to fulfill his needs.
-prongs |
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Post by SIRIUS ORION BLACK on Oct 16, 2011 1:38:01 GMT
prongs, You wouldn't. I've been trying to tell you for at least three years now. I'm sorry, mate, but it's been going on since first year. It's gotten old. Maybe you could sort of change it up a bit. You know, try flipping it instead of running a hand through it or something.
True. You know, we owe a lot to Snivelly, when you think about it. Without him, things at Hogwarts would be so...boring. Everyone needs a mortal enemy. It's how people keep from being too dull. You, my friend, are a case in point. But, I've made allowances because I like you so much. And also because you might be a little bit right.
Well, of course you miss me! I'm fantastic. Who wouldn't miss me with all this time we've spent apart? I can do more than cheer you up, mate. By the time I'm finished with you, you'll be positively ecstatic. I mean that (but not sexually this time even though I know it sort of looks that way). If it makes you happy, I might even wear the collar. But, know I'm only doing it for you, Prongsie.
That's funny...so have I. Oh well. It's not like we need to know how the argument started to argue. You know, by your logic, I would most definitely be fulfilling Peter's needs. Honestly, since when was having sex with everyone a bad thing? I mean, I've got needs, too, you know. If I had Peter, we could fulfill each other's needs. That's more than you can say, isn't it? On a side note, we should definitely keep this piece of parchment as far away from Peter as possible because I don't think he'd appreciate it the way we do. -pads
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Post by JAMES POTTER on Oct 16, 2011 17:43:12 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v1ndpe.jpg); border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 10px 40px 10px; border: 1px dashed #6E7B8B;] pads , No, I will not change it to a hair flip. It's gotta be the hand thing. If it were a flip, I'd look like a flaming homosexual, which I am not. People like it! It's the only reason I'm so popular.
Ah, I'm always right, as we've discovered throughout the years. I wouldn't really call Snape a "mortal enemy" as such. More of a play toy. You know, something that I get entertainment out of. Although, I do really hate him. Maybe that is a mortal enemy. I don't know, but either way, I regret nothing.
Excuse me, Sirius Orion Black. I do not appreciate all of these sexual innuendos. As you well know, I am one hundred percent virginal and the thought of you naked makes me feel queasy. (I am so totally kidding, you know I watch you shower.) I suppose I don't need the collar though. I wouldn't want you to suffer for me, even though I'd suffer for you if the tables were turned.
No, we all know that Peter's in love with another! Her name starts with a "P" and ends in "ie". Was that harsh? I don't know, but if we're keeping this parchment away from him it won't matter. Perhaps we just cage him and then transport him every now and then? You can have him during the week and I'll get weekends.
-prongs |
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Post by SIRIUS ORION BLACK on Oct 16, 2011 23:45:54 GMT
prongs, That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard (seen?). People do not like you because of the stupid thing you do with your hair! They like you because you're fun. And, you know, not Snape. Seriously, mate, the hair thing's got to go.
I suppose I can agree with that. He seems like more of a toy than anything else. Although there was that one time he used that weird hex... Almost cut my arm off! So, I'd say that alone makes him a mortal enemy. He's my mortal enemy, anyway. And, he's never nice to Moony. That's reason enough, wouldn't you say?
Right. I apologize. I know you're saving yourself for Evans. I should have respected your virginal...erm...wishes? HA. No, seriously (Sirius-ly...ha), Prongsie, I know you do and I know you love it. I appreciate that, even though I would most definitely suffer for you if it became necessary. This doesn't seem like those sort of circumstances. But, when we're out there fighting the bad guys, I'll have your back.
Again, HA. I suppose it was a little harsh, but he's not going to see it, so what does it matter? Sorry for that smudge near the top. I just laughed so hard I dripped a bit of ink. You and I will both be groomsmen at their wedding. But, I will be the best man. I think you're idea sounds workable. If we can send him back and forth, we can share him. And, you've got Lily for the weekdays, so that part makes sense as well. Hurry up and pass that note along! I'm genuinely curious about his reaction to all of this. -pads
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